As I approach the much anticipated date of my retirement, I feel less and less inclined to do much of ANYTHING! I mean, work-wise. I mean, in any kind of professional way—not at work, per se—but in terms of work-related endeavors. For instance, just thinking about all the things that people do to make that next buck, or advance in their career, or start some project or other, makes me utterly tired! Is this normal? Is this what happens to everyone who is staring at retirement in the face? Should I be worried? Or is this my REAL SELF coming out finally? Have I always been just plain lazy all these years, but being the conformist that I am have just put my head down and sallied forth because it was “the thing to do?” Gosh! If that is the case, I’m certainly having to get acquainted with a totally different person from that other one that I thought I knew so well…
Or perhaps I AM really just plain tired. Maybe all these years of toiling and punching the clock have really taken their toll; but should I feel this tired already? Despite having worked nearly 45 years of my life, do I even have THE RIGHT to be tired? What about all those people who dedicate half centuries or more to work, or how about those who NEVER quit, who couldn’t fathom the idea of the “dolce far niente,” (as Italians so well put it)?
We all know that one of the punishments that God bestowed upon Adam & Eve was that of “earning the daily bread with the sweat of thy brow…” so if that’s correct, then work was really supposed to be a punishment. So why do we feel guilty when we try to avoid it? Or maybe we’ve just rationalized the “punishment” (aka, “work”) by making it into something different, by dressing it with attributes that make it into something that should be pleasing, uplifting, fulfilling, etc., so that we can accept it and thrive on it, so that we’re not miserable 90% of our lives…?
Well, there it is. Lazy? Perhaps. Tired? Sure. Happy? Definitely!